Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Too impatient....

Well....if you have read my earlier posts then you might be wondering what has happened to me to change this much...
Well....I have changed...may be for good. Im too impatient for anything and everything. I usually get frustrated easily... Like wise Im too impatient now to see how my baby would look like... But they say that I have to wait for 6 more months for that.....
When I started blogging about my new journey I did not know why I started it. But now I know why I am doing it. I want to let my child know about my feelings and thoughts flowing through me when I was carrying her/ him. I want her/him to understand the forming of a bond between a mom and a child right from the beginning....
I just have one prayer to God now... Let my child be healthy (physically and mentally) when it makes an appearence to this world.

My child, i love you so much ....you never made me sick or weak. If no one caution me to walk slowly I would never even know that you are slowly growing inside me. You are slowly becoming a part of my life and Im so anxious to meet you....

Sunday, August 15, 2010

8 Weeks and going good....

Yesterday I got my scanning done and the doc said that my baby is now 8 weeks old. I dont know why but from the beginning I have a feeling that it is going to be a girl for me. If everything goes fine then we would be welcoming a baby girl for sure according to me.

I have done quite a few predictions in the past and am good at it... More or less like Paul the octopus ;)
Good thing is that Im among those few lucky people who does not have morning sickness. If I didnt get the test done last time when I did, I would never know also that Im carrying. I feel normal...well almost apart from the diminishing appetite part.

Its quite uncertain whether everything is normal until you get the scanning done. So after the scanning for few days you would be confident and then it is again back to the uncertainity. I guess it would be the routine until the baby movement starts...

I'm not thinking about it now a days..If god wishes this baby to be born then she/he will. I have left everything to him.Im just his servant and helping the baby to grow in my womb.....

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Why did God Made Sisters?

He wanted you to have a best friend. They would be your best friends no matter what. You dont have to pretend with them since they know you inside out...You can take out your frustations on them..She feels bad at first but it will not last long. She will forgive you and will not have lasting grudges....

My sister is my best friend. I do not have any special friends other than her to share my thoughts with. I love you dearest sister. And please forgive me if I have hurt you with my words.Thank you for being there for me.

I wish I could be a better sister to you and support you whenever you are in need of a best friend....

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A new journey.. a new life...

It was on Jul 31st 2010 ..a saturday... I got the most unexpected news in my life...that Im going to do one more role in my life ...as a MOM.

I do not know what a women feels when she hears this news..but the first thing which I felt when I heard it was "Oh my God!!! why now?". I had several dreams and aspirations in my life which I wanted to fulfil before becoming a mom and now everything has to wait. I am at the peak of my career and waiting to conquer more horizons...It was like a sudden brake to my career.

It took days for me to come out of this trauma. There were excitements all around, it really made me feel guilty. Everyone else are happy for you but you are not happy for yourself. Amidst of all these, I went to see my doctor whose office was full of anticipating Moms. I stayed away from all their Mom talks.. I was not interested in any of those.

I went in for my first scan and the doctor told me..see that is your baby... Something happened to me then at that moment...Maybe a maternal feeling. I dont know....

On my second visit to doctor she told me that she cannot locate Baby's heart and that I have to go for one more round of scanning....I felt dejected and sad...But the next scan showed me something wonderful. a small point sized heart beating so rapidly. I could not believe my eyes....It was a wonderful feeling...maybe worth risking my career for...

I will always love you and protect you my baby whenever you plan to make an entrance to this world..

Shining Star.............On the Top of the world

It was on a Friday 30th Jul 2010,when I got to know that my good work atlast got appreciated. It was completely an unexpected recognition from my manager and the first of a kind in my entire career. For those who hear about this ,it might look silly but to me it was like getting a life time achievement award. Im grateful to my Manager Srini for this and would remember this moment through out my life...

This is my 3rd company in whole of 7 years of career. I slogged so much in my earlier organization putting lots of effort. All I got was a demotion and some fantasticly wrapped words which meant more or less "you are good for nothing and you are a loser.Please get out of here." I never understood where I went wrong. I was dedicated to work and gave my 100% to it and still it was not enough. Thank God ...I quit when I did. I was demotivated and angry at myself for disbelieving in myself and God. Atlast he was the one who showed me the path to my new office, a place where I never would have thought of going.

The day after I quit from my previous employer (without having any offer in my hand) I walked in to the doors of my would be new office. As an impatient one, I wanted to go home after seeing the long queue of applicants. Still I waited for a bit may be due to some inner voice. What happened next was like a slow motion picture. They called me inside and took my interview which I answered confidently then it was the next round and finally HR telling me that we would contact you in few days with your offer letter.I was shocked....Then,at that moment, I knew one thing for sure.."God will not support any injustice and he loves you". Thank you Lord for being there for me..